(This is an incomplete essay originally written for “The News at elevatorium dot org.” gateway, but never made it. It was scribed on March 14, 2005, and is presented to you in its raw, unedited form. —Maya)
Hello peoples, what’s up? I am strung out, but what else is new? I hate feeling this way, and it is partially my own fault, though right now we’re not going to get into it.
What we are going to get into is the heaps of news and other crap that I carelessly have been neglecting to share with you. I wouldn’t say "carelessly," it’s just,…when I’m in a really good mood, I tend to just wallow in it for quite some time. I work so backwards. I should be able to seriously write every single day and get something completed and posted, but instead I ponder all sorts of things. Let’s talk about some of those things, shall we?
Number one: elevatorium. Technically, this should not even be my first priority, I should be working on my previous writing project which was commonly referred to as "The Super Secret Master Plan." Well, guess what? Fuck the stupid secret master plan. That’s right, just chuck that bitch right out the fuckin’ door. You know, I would tell y’all what it was, but I still might try it out someday. I just don’t want to deal with it right now, so back to elevatorium being number one.
One thing I really do not like is that I’m not working on the site’s visual overhaul. I have certain ideas I would like implemented, and I have no fucking idea why I just can’t execute. Oh wait, I do know why, because I’m A. D. D.ing the whole situation. I do know one thing—I really have to stop writing about entertainment like it’s the only thing I’m into on the planet. I mean, shit! What happened to my music reviews and my re-vamp of the “Who is Maya?” page, right? Ugh, dammit to Hell. I have two computers, I should be utilizing both efficiently, not just dicking around on my iMac and staring at my eMac, hehe.
I definitely have to bring back the Now Playing features for the SEB and iTunes, why can’t I do that right now for Christ’s sake? it’s just a teeny amount of code, plus I have to install Recent Tunes, but that’s no big deal. Kevin is supposedly going to work on his own visual overhaul interpretation for the site as well—it started with just a basic graphic for The Purgatory, and now it exploded to, "Hey, let’s do the whole site like this!" After some pondering, I wanted to interject the infamous trees from the “dream of elevatorium”, so now we’re back to that. Visual overhauls, however, should not stop me from writing. I should split the day in half—day for visual overhauling, and night for writing, since we all know I do write the best whilst burning the midnight oil.
You know what, though? I feel for some of you, especially if you come this way for the first time, and well, even for the seasoned returning visitors. I mention a lot here and there of information that only I know of, because I don’t take the time to really explain anything, and that I apologize for. Actually, instead of apologizing, allow some explanations to come your way!
I get a ton of questions regarding the titles to posts. Hahaha, it’s funny, because whatever mood I’m currently in, or maybe what the current song or artist is playing at the moment, that’ll be the inspiration needed to kick in and starting scribin’. For example, the title to this post is a title of a Wavestar song. Of course, ninety-nine percent of you don’t even know who the fuck Wavestar is, so I could at least give you a link or better yet, just mention that Wavestar was an ambient music duo involving John Dyson and David Ward-Hunt. Unfortunately, Wavestar is no more, but their music is still potent and yummy, so in the end, that’s what counts the most. See? Don’t we all feel better now that we learned something?
Another question I’ve been getting asked lately is the whole mystique around my newfound phrase, "I am forever The Illusionist." It is my home page at my other site, amplexus dot info, but honestly, there’s a lot more at that site than meets the eye—it’s where I do all my beta testing to new projects ’n’ shit. I also ended the first post for The Purgatory™ with that, because it’s very true. My name means "illusion" in some Hindi dialect, and it’s pretty ironic that it just fits. Many times I feel that I dish out more than I am, like this whole "living in the Bell Tower" thing, hahaha!!! I’ve been using that since, hrm, wow, probably when I was fifteen or sixteen years old? I used to call my room The Bell Tower because every time I wanted to go out, my parents would say no, or actually my dad would be Mr. No, haha! Also, the way the house is constructed, you wouldn’t tell from the outside, but inside, my room is sort of "detached," if you will. It’s like you have to walk a lil’ extra in the hallway because I’m off in the corner, much like a bell tower is in a castle. Hahaha, so even when I would get in trouble or get into a fight, I would always hide in the ’Tower. I guess it just stuck.
Hey, look at that, I banged out a lot, eh?
Anyway, the “soundtrack of elevatorium” has been missing for a while, and probably some of you have no idea what that is either. I guess you would have to know how the website came to be, and where the origins are. You can learn about that by clicking here. Once you read that, you’ll be able to understand the rest of this paragraph. You see, after I had the dream, I constructed a soundtrack that would go with the release of the short film I wanted to create in 1999 to visually capture exactly what the dream looked to me. It had such a profound imprint on my life, but honestly, it has faded. That could be why a lot of these ideas start, but never really go anywhere. All of these ideas could very well be just that—phases, and if they are, they are just temporary illusions, hence being forever The Illusionist. Amazingly, the only two phases that hasn’t dissapated in my entire life is music and writing, so finally something stuck. w00t!
I guess now the plan is to merge those two, and see where it takes me from there. It’s one of those "stay tuned" moments.
Okay, so! Sow buttons? No, so what else do I have to say? Ah, yes! Why am I starting to write one big post per month? That is the biggest no-no in my book. Shame shame, know my name! Holy shit, I just remembered when I started this site that was another project I was getting into—writing a book! Bahahaha!!! See what I mean? I know how to solve this, though. I just need someone as a partner in crime. I work better with a second mind around, you know what I mean? That’ll solve everything.
Now everyone knows that writing is literally, like, one half of who I am. What’s the other half? Music, of course, and how grand music is!
I can really be proud of my extreme diversity in music. I mean, here’s a great example: Who else can say they really became absorbed with new age music at the young, tender age of thirteen, and have a real appreciation for it! If you went through that, or know someone who did, you tell them to eMail me right fucking now, because none of my friends from back then even gave a shit about new age, hahaha! Everyone was already baffled that I was such a diehard KISS fan since I was three, that to get into something which was such a complete opposite was just way too extreme for their minds to handle. Oh well! KISS will always be my number one band for life, that’s something that just can’t end. No matter how much time goes by, any time I hear a KISS tune I can immediately jump right in and sing along, word for word. I can’t really do that with any other bands except Life of Agony, and maybe Pink Floyd, so in the number one spot, KISS and LoA share that pedestal, hehe.
However, new age music was just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve had a massive appreciation for classical music my whole life, as well as several ethnic flavors. Here’s a very little known fact about yours truly: I have an amazing respect and deep-rooted love of Eastern Orthodox Byzantine music. You know, the hymns sung in the church choir? As being Ukrainian Orthodox, I really have this fascination with the whole Eastern Orthodox religion, and it’s been that way since I remember going to church way back in the day. I’ve always had this odd fixation or attachment to God, or the concept thereof. It just amazes me how I always feel so serene when I’m in a church; a true feeling of sanctuary.
By the way, if anyone tries to use that against me, I guarantee you a world of nothing but bad luck will haunt you.
Wow, this is really the first time I’m really opening up about myself on the site. It’s pretty impressive, hehe. I feel like I’m on a roll, what else could I say about myself? Okay, how about ten random great qualities?
1. I’m a superb listener.
2. I can make anyone who’s feeling lousy cheer up quick. Shit, I wish I could do that for myself, hahaha!!!
3. I can turn a shitty or shady situation into something positive.
4. I would put my life on the line for anyone I care about deeply, friend or lover.
5. I would put my own freedoms on the line for the good of the group, as I still continue to do today.
6. I always put myself last; everyone is tended to first.
7. I would never fathom cheating on someone I truly love with all my heart. I despise cheaters and honestly, if you’re married or romantically involved with someone and cheat, you best just leave the site now. Your thoughts are useless to me.
8. I know how to make my significant other happy.
9. I love to share.
10. I’m extremely easy to get along with, no matter of how much an ass someone could be. Although if it gets to an insane point, I just might go postal on your ass.
All righty, now here’s ten random things I really need to work on:
1. I really need to stop biting my nails. It’s my biggest killer, I swear, but hey, I’m a nervous person by default, so what the fuck you want from me!
2. I can and tend to be selfish, though my selflessness outweighs it big time.
3. I really hate when I play with my hair too much. If it’s not the fingernails, I’m going for the hair. I haven’t had this long of hair in quite a while, and now I remember why I keep it short—I have to attack it constantly.
4. I am a slob, haha! I confess it, though, so it’s not so bad. The Bell Tower and my apartment when I lived on Long Island were the worst, haha, although now, I really do try to keep shit clean. It’s really a matter of organization.
