The SoapBox™ of elevatorium dot org.

Date: (See Above)
To: Any and everyone involved in celebrity gossip, specifically the paparazzi
From: Yours Truly
Subject: When are you going to fucking back off already?!

Okay, it’s been a while since I wrote anything exciting in The SoapBox—let alone anything exciting at all— but now I just need to fucking explode. I have really bit my tongue on this subject way too long and it’s time to let it all fucking go.

I just went to visit my guilty-pleasure website to see if there was anything new, and low and behold, I found something which subconciously, I knew it was bound to come. Unfortunately, you can’t see it unless you register, so I’ll just tell you what it is. Here we have FOUR totally candid shots of Mr. Kutcher as he tries to have a jog throughout the neighborhood. Isn’t this something one would like to do in fucking peace?!?!

My point is the paparazzi is really getting out of hand, and something really needs to be fucking done about it. What am I talking about, you may wonder? Well, if you, too, are not a dumbass, you will see my subliminalaties and follow through. If not, then oh well.

Back in the day, I never gave a shit about movie or TV stars, but lately I have, and I really don’t know why. Celebrities seem to be more and more exploited these days than ever before. We’ve gone as far as to have a channel totally dedicated to them. Any network that carries a news program even devotes a segment on telling you what the stars are doing, what they’re wearing, how many times they sneezed, who they’re engaged to, who they divorced, how many times they went to the bathroom, the list just goes on forever. Even though that is enough in itself to drive me crazy, the thing now that I can’t stand is how the paparazzi is really taking themselves to the extreme, and now it’s starting to get fucking ugly. Hey can you tell how mad I AM YET?!

Many people in the entertainment industry—whether it’s film, television, music, theatre, or whatever—understand certain sacrifices have to be made in order to be successful. Yes, you’re going to lose some of your privacy, but when it comes to the point of having cars or vans parked right outside your front door—because God forbid someone halfway around the world doesn’t see a candid shot of your favorite movie star, they won’t be able to even function through their day, she said ever so sarcastically—that’s when it needs to just end. Ever hear of the zoom lens?! Use it! It’s actually worth what it’s created for.

There really needs to be some sort of law established, at least in California first, that states no one is allowed to photograph any well known person from a certain, “personal space” type of distance; let’s say for argument’s sake, 500 feet. Celebrities are regular people, just like you and me. Just because they chose to be in entertainment does not mean everyone has to flood their privacy and space because Us Weekly would pay big bucks for a candid shot. This is why actors like Leonardo DiCaprio have to stay on the downlow; poor guy can’t even have a night on the town without a zillion assholes following him around with video cameras and still or digital cameras. It’s just gone way out of control lately.

If there are laws against stalking, and laws that allow people to get restraining orders against others, then why isn’t there anything for celebrities??? The amount of security these poor people need nowadays is ridiculous, and downright frightening. I’m sure you all heard about how Britney Spear’s mom backed into a photographer who was asked politely to step back, and refused? It’s his own fucking fault he got hit! There’s going to be a point where you’re not the current hot commodity in Tinseltown, and other people will be more in the spotlight than you, regardless of how well your career is going, or how successful you are.

The media just needs to start pulling the brakes now, before something really fucked up happens. Don’t exploit entertainment, be gentile. Celebrities have feelings, too, you know. They’re not freaking machines or robots.

Posted by Maya at 02:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay, today is the first time in ages that I made an attempt to write a ranting-type entry here in The SoapBox. I guess after “Good Friends, (Family), and a Bottle of Pills” was said and done, well, I purged myself for a while, but hey—with Effexor starting to make me feel like my old self and my head coming to a cleansing need of sorts, I am ready to tackle you bitches all over again.

My rant for today is pretty basic:

All right. That was good. Now here’s my deal about all this.

Let’s first talk about why I have a number of blogs. I don’t. Ha ha, fuck you. I use Movable Type for elevatorium.org for the sole purpose of adding a shiteload of content without making a billion .html files. Basically, this is why Movable Type exists—you can use it for blogging if you so desire, or for adding content to a site without creating .html files for it all. Don’t get me wrong, I do make my .html files when I really need them, but I love being able to type about anything my little heart desires, post it, and then see you all come and read my wonderful scriptures.

Anyways…

Last night I was looking through my last Journal I kept. I used to take it with me to work at my last job, and in between my tasks, I would whip it out and just write away. Not to sound vain or anything—though I know it will most definitely come off that way—I really love the way I write. I dig my flow to no end, and everything just works. It’s like reading a transcript of a conversation; it’s quite immaculate. In many ways, it’s like reading the shit I post on the site—I have this vision that I’m just sitting in a circle with a lot of people and I’m telling you stories or events or just random bullshit, and everyone is intently listening.

My problem, though, is these people who have blogs and pretty much write about what’s going on in the news or the media—you may call it current events—but I call that kind of crap “fucking retarded.” I barely cover anything in the news unless it’s killer stupid, but maybe it’s because I am busy covering the world of entertainment, hahahahahahahahaha!!! I do cover a lot of television and film information, but rarely anything in music aside from the handful of reviews I’ve posted recently in The Maya Review. How ‘bout those album covers and thirty second samples, eh??? Hehe, all created by yours truly—yes, thank you, thank you! Hehe!

My point is if you want to keep an online journal or diary, great, but really write about yourself and what’s going on in your life, not this crap that’s going on in the news, because guess what, people? You ain’t Dan Rather, and I ain’t going to your site(s) for a new version of CNN or Headline News. I want to read about YOU! What YOU are into, what YOU do, about what kind of exploits or activities YOU have been involved in, not about your lameass opinions on the President or what’s going on in Iraq. We have the news and all the other crap out there to feed us that shit.

And with that off my chest, I feel much better. HAHA!!!

You know, on a side note, certain people want me to write something else on that same vein like “Good Friends, (Family), and a Bottle of Pills;” I hate to disappoint you, but right now I just don’t have any juice for that stuff. Maybe soon? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by Maya at 05:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Testing 1,2,3 ?

Posted by Maya at 06:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, well, well…another big-time awards show has come and gone. Last night—just a few hours before this post—the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences had their annual Academy Awards, more commonly referred to as the Oscars.

This year’s show was actually held a month earlier than usual. Originally, the Awards were held in May during the 1920s. It was moved around over the years to November, and even April. Lately, we’ve seen the Oscars—being the last of the big American award ceremonies—in March. Why this year in February? Simple—this was the first time the Academy gave ample room to those films without big, spectacular budgets to shine in their own right—and shine they did!

This year’s show also welcomed the return of its longtime host, Billy Crystal, who has been absent from the MC duties for the past three years. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed it more than usual, because Billy is just hilarious, and makes everyone comfortable and feel at ease. I often refer Billy as today’s version of the great late Bob Hope, who was also remembered at the show for his countless entertainment contributions, as well as being another long-standing Oscars host.

So how was the show? Like I said, it was pretty good. It’s been a while since I enjoyed watching. Maybe the last time I took a big interest in watching the show was back in 1998, that’s when Titanic had 11 nominations, but did not win all of them. :( The only thing that was really bad then, though, was poor Leo DiCaprio was snubbed of even a nomination for Best Actor, though the Academy claimed that was done because his performance was perfect. Uh huh, sure. His performance was perfect, I’m not denying that, but shit, cut the guy some slack! He totally deserved a nomination, and ultimately, the win.

In other DiCaprio-Oscars related news, I was surprised to find his film, Gangs of New York, snubbed of any nominations, too. No doubt many of the big summer blockbusters of 2003 were all cut out to be just that—summer blockbusters. Just entertainment to pass the summer days’ time. :/ I’m sorry. It is however, not unusual to see certain films kicked to the wayside, but why, though? I really don’t know.

However, it was no surprise that this year’s big winner was the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. It had eleven (11) nominations, tieing it even with Ben-Hur and Titanic, and LotR won ‘em all! Here’s the rundown of who won what:

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE — Sean Penn — MYSTIC RIVER
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE — Tim Robbins — MYSTIC RIVER
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE — Charlize Theron — MONSTER
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE — René Zellweger — COLD MOUNTAIN
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM — FINDING NEMO — Andrew Stanton
ART DIRECTION — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Grant Major (Art Direction); Dan Hennah and Alan Lee (Set Decoration)
CINEMATOGRAPHY — MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD — Russell Boyd
COSTUME DESIGN — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Ngila Dickson and Richard Taylor
DIRECTING — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Peter Jackson
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE — THE FOG OF WAR — Errol Morris and Michael Williams
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT — CHERNOBYL HEART — Maryann DeLeo
FILM EDITING — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Jamie Selkirk
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM — THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS — Canada - Directed by Denys Arcand
HONORARY AWARD — Blake Edwards
MAKEUP — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Richard Taylor, Peter King
MUSIC (SCORE) — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING — Howard Shore
MUSIC (SONG) — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - “Into the West” (Music and Lyric by Fran Walsh and Howard Shore and Annie Lennox)
BEST PICTURE — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - Barrie M. Osborne, Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh
SHORT FILM (ANIMATED) — HARVIE KRUMPET — Adam Elliot
SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION) — TWO SOLDIERS — Aaron Schneider and Andrew J. Sacks
SOUND EDITING — MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD — Richard King
SOUND MIXING — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - Christopher Boyes, Michael Semanick, Michael Hedges and Hammond Peek
VISUAL EFFECTS — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
Jim Rygiel, Joe Letteri, Randall William Cook and Alex Funke
WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY) — THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING - Screenplay by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens & Peter Jackson
WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY) — LOST IN TRANSLATION — Written by Sofia Coppola

Obviously there were lots of fantastic winners. Although they are all great, there were a few disappointments, and I can almost safely say that I am not alone in feeling these disappointments.

I was really bummed Johnny Depp didn’t win his Best Actor nomination. Instead it went to a real surprise, Sean Penn! I was happy with that, just as long as it wasn’t going to be the same cookie-cutter winners. I also thought Billy Crystal’s opening number was fantastic, especially when they not-so-subliminally crammed some movie piracy tactics, hahaha! That was cute. However, unlike the music industry, the MPAA/Academy did not make a peep about not downloading movies. No website mentioned, no nothing. The only visible stink they made was during the Academy voting season, where there were barely any DVD and videotape screeners sent out to Academy members for fear of seeing them landing online. Piracy is obviously being handled very differently between these two entertainment industries. Maybe the RIAA should take a cue from the MPAA?

Also, Jack Black and Will Ferrell’s lil’ duet before they presented the Oscar for Best Song was very very funny. I really dig when Jack Black gets in this focused mood while singing and his facial expressions are all intense and serious, ROFL! Great stuff, indeed. Another good performance was Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara singing their song for the folk music mockumentry, A Mighty Wind. I thought their tune should have won—it made me cry, hehe—but instead it went to Annie Lennox’s tune for LotR.

One film I was amazed to see nominated was the animated feature, The Triplets of Belleville. I recently noticed it is in American theatres now, and the animation alone kicks major ass. I’m going to try to squeeze in a viewing of that in the near future.

I’m not-so-surprised Sofia Coppola won for her work with Lost in Translation. I haven’t seen the film per se, so I don’t know how great it is, but my brother has, and he really loves it. Our tastes in films are vastly different, though, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she won just because she is a Coppola. Sorry, Sofie.

Another moment I thought was a riot was when Jim Carrey was talking about Blake Edwards, and when he was announced he just flew across the stage in a powered wheelchair, HAHAHA!!! Only for a nanosecond did I not think that was staged, lol, yes call me na…ve, but I just wasn’t expecting it.

All in all, it was a generally good show, and I hope you enjoyed it as well, or at the very least—got some minute kick out of it. Hopefully for the 77th Oscars, we will see some tight movies nominated, maybe even a nomination somewhere for my man Ashton and The Butterfly Effect.

If only he were my man…

Learn more! Click here to learn about the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and click here to learn all about the Academy Awards, as well as full lists of who was nominated, who won, and who lost!

Posted by Maya at 03:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here are some current issues within our country that just really TICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME…

Gay and Lesbian Marriages. Every news channel and news program lately has been covering this huge surge in gay and lesbian couples getting “married.” My first question is why did this become so huge to begin with? From what I heard/saw, this is how I understand it—the mayor of San Francisco, CA, said it was ok for gays/lesbians to marry, so now everyone is doing it like it’s the new trend. Even in my adopted hometown, Philadelphia, it is ok. However, everyone has some sort of opinion about all this. The ultimate question is should the President himself become involved?

Government should never become involved with the concept of matrimony or unity between two people. We don’t ask the local mayor or our state’s governor to be our priest or pastor. We go to the church, so for President Bush to feel uncomfortable about all this and attempt to get Congress to change or add an amendment in the Constitution is VERY unAmerican. If anyone needs to be banned for something or other, it should be President Bush. We don’t need your fuckups anymore, ok? Thanks.

This whole surge to get married is pretty wackadoo as well. It seems they only want to marry to be eligible for their “spouse’s” benefits from work, or to legally own the house the two paid into together. Basically, it’s gay couples wanting to have the same rights as man/woman married couples. Whatever happened to getting married out of love? See, this all boils down to how this country has too much freedom in the wrong places.

Stern Gets Banned…Again. Radio personality Howard Stern was banned indefinitely from the only six Clear Channel Communications radio stations that syndicate his show. He apparently had two sisters make out on the air, haha, as well as talked about some “controversial” issues. What I find funny is you can’t even see this, just hear it. If you want to see it, I’m sure it’ll be on Howard’s late night show on E!, but hey, that’s at 11 PM. Clear Channel is enforcing these “indeceny” laws all because of the media making such a fucking big stink of Janet Jackson’s b00b from this year’s SuperBowl show. See how all my pissiness just rambles on altogether? Everything is relative in one way or another. Anyway, Clear Channel can go kiss my ass, but my ass is too worthy even for their lips, so they can just dream about it, hahaha! Infinity Broadcasting, who is Howard’s broadcaster, has no plans to take him off the air. See, it’s okay for MTV to show lots of T&A, but God forbid you see that on network TV. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Here’s another Stern-related link, if you so desire to check it out. If you want to read the official press release from Clear Channel Communications, download it from here. And to hear something really special, click here. ;) (Requires Real Player.)

If I was in office, this country would be so super. There would be no political parties, none of that bullshit. There would be no old fogies in Congress thinking the way they did back in the 1940s, HAHAHAHA!

Cut What? Oh, I love this one—Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan says the Government should cut an amount out of Social Securirty checks to help pay for the National Deficit. No you old asshole, how about you retire already and let someone with half a brain come into your place and think of something better?!?! Don’t you realize all those people—especially the elderly—whose sole income are their Social Security checks?!?! If someone only gets $700.00/month, and let’s say the Government cuts it in half, that person is going to be beyond pigfucked. Why do these people get appointed to be in office, can someone tell me that? And then, he also states people should work longer than 65. HAHA! Hey buddy, in Brazil, they retire at 45! What do you think of those apples, ya fuckin’ old senile man. Someone eradicate him, along with the entire Republican party that works in Washington, D.C. What a bunch of liars.

Posted by Maya at 10:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)